A thought is suddenly dawning
Of why I'm constantly yawning.
For the past 20 years
You've brought me to tears
So I'll be off in the morning
by Sean Lock
There was a lady where I'm from,
Who uncontrollably guzzled cum.
She had earned her fame,
Now what was her name?
I believe she was called "your mom."
There was a young lady called Lucky
Whose cunt was incredibly mucky
When told to have a bath
She said " yer having a laugh "
Men love the smell of yucky.
Here was a bishop of duckingham
Who stood on the bridge at buckingham
Watching the stunts of the cunts
In the punts
And the tricks of the pricks that were fucking em
There was a young man from Montrose,
Who had a wet dream, I suppose.
His landlady said,
As she cleaned up his bed,
"That didn't come out of his nose".
That naughty old Sapho of Greece
Said: 'What I prefer to a piece
Us to have my pudenda
Rubbed by the end'a
The rosy pink nose of my niece.'
A sensitive aardvark called Mingus
Found foreplay hard work with no fingers.
But his praises are sung
For his fourteen inch tongue
Gives his ladies a pleasure that lingers.
A singer who came from Milano
Had privates made out of Meccano.
He sang bass-tenor, but
By unscrewing one nut
He could also reach mezzo-soprano
The vicar was tempted to flee
When the Bishop’s wife said after tea,
"Oh Reverend Morgan
Do show me your organ!
It’s something I’m dying to see."
Although candy is dandy, what’s finer
And much quicker is liquor, so wine her.
Is a peck on the cheek
All the boon that you seek?
Tut! The odds say your goal’s her vaginer.
by Ogden Nash