There once was a leopardess, Dot,
Who indignantly answered: "I’ll not!
The gents are impressed
With the way that I’m dressed.
I wouldn’t change even one spot!"
Hawking, who makes my head spin,
Says time may flow backward, I grin,
Imagining the surprise
In my mother's eyes
When I head for the womb once again!
Relativity, the theorists’ creed,
Says mass increases with speed.
My (m)ass grows when I sit it.
Mr. Einstein, get with it;
Equate its deflation, I plead!
Einstein, the frizzy-haired,
Said E equals MC squared.
Thus all mass decreases,
As activity ceases?
Not my mass, my ass declared!