There was once was a girl who drank gin.
That isn’t too bad to begin,
Shows a high correlation
With behavioral lapses called sin.
by Isaac Asimov
An amateur driving too fast
from his car to the roadway was cast;
And a friend kindly said
As he bandaged his head-
Mr Cobler stick to your last
Sit vitiorum meorum evacuatio
Concupiscentae et libidinis exterminatio,
Caritatis et patientiae,
Humilitatis et obedientiae,
Omniumque virtutum augmentatio.
Hawking, who makes my head spin,
Says time may flow backward, I grin,
Imagining the surprise
In my mother's eyes
When I head for the womb once again!
Einstein, the frizzy-haired,
Said E equals MC squared.
Thus all mass decreases,
As activity ceases?
Not my mass, my ass declared!
This limerick goes in reverse,
Unless I’m remiss,
The neat thing is this:
If you start from the bottom-most verse,
This limerick’s not any worse.
by Zach Weiner
And let me the canakin clink, clink.
And let me the canakin clink.
A soldier’s a man.
A life’s but a span.
Why, then, let a soldier drink.
There once was a Marxist named Lenin,
Who did two or three million men in,
That's a lot to have done in,
But where he did one in,
That old bastard Stalin did ten in.
Seven Ages: first puking and mewling
Then very pissed-off with your schooling,
Then fucks and then fights,
Next judging chaps’ rights,
Then sitting in slippers: then drooling.